the first person to ever fall asleep was probably like “aw fuck i’m dying” but then woke up hours later and was like “aw yeah that’s the shit i do like”
i need to stop imagining scenarios in my head that have a -2% chance of actually happening it’s becoming a problem
spray your crush with non stick spray to keep yourself from getting too attached
How is sponge bob a sponge if everyone in his family are chocolate chip cookies
how I feel ordering at Starbucks.